Okay...we admit it!  4-4-13

I admit it. We are not ashamed of it. Let me explain why. We had nothing to do with the long spiral toward the bottom. You see, both of us moved out of the city itself at a relatively young age. Call it what you will. Self preservation, white flight...but that term no longer applies because anybody of any race that can get out of Detroit right now is doing so. That's right. Both Sue and I are originally from Detroit. My family moved out when I was seven---to a suburb 5 miles to the north called Birmingham. Sue's family moved out of the city when she was 12. Naturally, we each had reasons to go back into the city for many years. Some of our family members continued to live in the city throughout my childhood and I remember visiting them often. We have been in Sarasota for nearly 4 years now, but part-time gigs as a private investigator and bodyguard led me to work in the city itself as recently as 2009. I had NOTHING to do with former mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and his cronies stealing that 58 million. He deserves every year of his 20 year sentence in the Federal Pen. Okay, the murder rate is a little high...I think it was around 500 last year----but hey, as the populace continues to flee, there are less and less people to kill every year! At the risk of getting overly nostalgic, here is a little video that shows some areas of my home town in need of a little sprucing up.  Click here       

Sinkhole Tips   3-13-13

Like many Florida residents, I followed the news about the sinkhole very closely. The sinkhole I am referring to involves the incident in which a man was swallowed---bed and all---while asleep in his room. You could not have missed this item...it was on every news channel, both local and national. The other residents of the house escaped. I know what you are thinking, but it all happened so quickly. By the time it was on the news, there was simply neither the time nor opportunity to toss my ex wife into the home, especially in view of the fact that she lives in another state. My second concern was the proximity of this sinkhole to Sarasota. It turns out that this sinkhole is about an hour's drive from Sarasota...two hours if one drives like my dad. I was further reassured when several knowledgable clients told me at separate times during the week that the ground beneath Sarasota does not have the necessary composition for sinkholes. Nevertheless, I was all ears when a "sinkhole expert" on one of the news channels shared some valuable information. For those of us who continue to have concerns about being swallowed by the earth unexpectedly, he claimed that there are indeed some warning signs. He stated if doors, either interior or exterior, begin to close improperly, the windows start to do the same, and there are any new cracks in the walls: "LEAVE THE HOUSE immediately." Now, aren't you glad you clicked on this update page today? I may have just saved your life...we just don't know it yet.  

Off to Asia!   3-5-13

Our oldest client is 84. That is correct. Norma is 84 years old and works out with us twice a week. You may be wondering...if YOU work out with us at least twice a week will YOU live to be at least 84? Probably, but let's not make this about you right now. Instead, let us discuss Norma and her friend Julie's plans for October. That's right, Norma's health is such that she is able to plan her next overseas trip for October! In contrast, I have an 80 year old hermit uncle who claims that his health is so tenuous that he does not even buy green bananas. Norma and her travel buddy Julie have been to Europe enough already. On the other hand, the closet I have been to Europe is Maine. Norma told me that now she wants to go to Asia and "See what there is to see while I can still see!"  Speaking of Asia: What do they call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? That's right. Won Ton!

Don't be Koi with me  2-17-13

A medical professional entrusted my laser and I with his sore foot last week. He has been training for a tri-athlon and the wear and tear on the joint at the ball of his foot was causing enough pain to become a distraction. We chatted several times during the course of three 15 minute treatments, and I even ordered the addictive series Downton Abbey based on the man's recommendation. By the last treatment, the pain in his foot had subsided enough for him to resume training. On his way out, he gazed briefly into the large fish tank that graces the rear of the studio. He seemed especially interested in a large "pot-bellied" goldfish. He explained his interest by telling me that he used to have a Koi pond in his back yard. He said he found Koi fascinating. I would have taken him at his word, but then he proved it. He lifted up his shirt sleeve....

I was not the only one staring. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that he had gotten the attention of every resident of my 125 gallon tank. Their staring was obvious, and not just because they lacked eyelids. Did they think that one of their own had escaped, only to land on this man's arm? Were they preparing to welcome a new addition to the tank, albeit a very large one? I had some questions myself. For instance, was this tattoo drawn to "scale?" I shall find out more should my clients other foot ever need laser therapy.   

Can the Therapy Laser heal wounds?  1-29-13

I will not leave you in suspense. Of course it can...or I obviously would not be posting this. 
When we were in Michigan, we thought we were big time dog lovers. We had to be...our hyper active dog was yippy, quirky, and extremely obnoxious. But as we got to know people in Sarasota, we discovered that we were just in "the middle of the pack." Two or three dog families are often the norm. Some of our clients spend enough on vet bills to feed a developing nation. One client named Patti has three dogs of her own and a total of SEVEN rescue dogs in various stages of healing or out placement. 
One of these rescue dogs is Sugar. Sugar is about 8 and is the most people friendly Lab mix I have ever met. I shall not delve into Sugar's numerous maladies or issues at this time, but among them was a severe open would on her foreleg that would not heal and could not be stitched together. It was bright pink and watery and not for the sqeamish. The wound remained open for a year despite different salves and medications and gave poor Sugar a pronounced limp.

Patti has brought Sugar in to see me on six different occasions. Her first laser wound treatment lasted 8 minutes. On ensuing visits we gradually increased the treatment time to 14 minutes. Sugar was not thrilled with the idea of being hoisted up onto my desk, but Patti and I spent much of each session explaining the benefits of the painless laser treatments and Sugar began to accept it as her lot. After two treatments the wound began to scab up at the narrowest point. After the fifth treatment, the entire wound had begun to fill in and heal. I offer the pic below as proof.

Needless to say, Sugar's limp is far less noticable and she is delighted with the results thus far. What is the next step? Patti and I intend to wait for the scabs to fall off and the new skin beneath to appear. The next laser treatments will not be for another month or two. The new objective will be to try to stimulate the re-growth of fur! Stay tuned.         

Is the dog still alive? 1-18-13

Many regular readers will recall occasional posts about our dog. Her name is Sasha...and she is still alive! She is of course very old by now---with luck she will be 12 in April. When one factors in her weight (93 pounds) and the fact that, in spite of being a rescue dog, she is a purebred from a breed that is not known for particularly long lives---she is doing remarkably well. In fact, according to a book called Good Old Dog written by the Vets at Tufts University, her age should be multiplied by 8 years instead of the usual 7. This would result in a physical age of about 92 years! Needless to say, she is slowing down a great deal. Her arthritis is kept in check with a combination of Meloxicam, Fish Oil, massage, and low level laser therapy. So do we all need proof that she is still alive? Below is a very recent pic.

Does this dog look dead to
you? Of course not!

Perhaps the above pic is not absolute proof---until one asks why we would keep a huge stuffed animal underfoot during business hours. 
Sasha still comes to work here at the studio for at least 6 shifts per week (out of a possible 11...not too shabby.) Granted she is slowing down a bit, although as of late she has been making subtle demands for more pay. Her contention is that now that we have two doors (a front and a rear) for clients to enter through she deserves DOUBLE pay. Needless to say management here is in disagreement but we shall continue to negotiate with her in good faith and hopefully arrive at some compromise. Her capabilities as a guard dog were never well-honed, but lately salesmen have been slipping past her left and right. We are also going to require some sort of contribution from her toward her pension fund as we cannot continue to bear the entire cost by ourselves. 

Do We Like the New Studio?  12-25-12

That is a very good question. First let us examine some of the positives. Compared with the old one, it is Gorgeous inside! The blue is a gray tinged shade called Peaceful Night. The brand new ductwork for the powerful air conditioning system has remained very shiny and contrasts sharply with the walls and ceiling. The mirrors make the place look bigger than it is and the new flooring has just the right amount of charcoal in it. The new studio has TWO finished, clean bathrooms and enough mirrors and lighting for a make-up artist to set up shop. The parking is superb, with our very own traffic signal on Tamiami Trail at the west end of our lot, and loads of parking in back. Please do not ask foolish questions like "Do you leave the back door unlocked during working hours?" because of course we do. The thing I do not like about the new studio? The front door still sticks a little bit.
The astute reader will recall the laser therapy updates that I wrote about some time ago. These treatments have continued to relieve a lot of pain for many people, but I do not wish to pat myself on the back in this space...especially since my flexibility is not what it once was. Instead I would like to mention Sugar, an eight year old rescue Labrador retriever. She has had a horrible wound on her front leg for one year that cannot be stitched together and would not heal. Would not heal, that is, until her owner (who might want to remain anonymous so I will just call her Patti) suggested that we try the laser on it. We have thus far treated the wound in increments of 8, 10 1/2, 12 1/2, and 14 1/2 minutes over the course of two weeks. The wound has begun healing at the top and around the edges! Sugar is delighted, and her limp has nearly disappeared. Of course I took pictures, but I will not post them until the results become even more dramatic.