Gambling Problem? 12-19-11

Jim M. likes to bet against the Detroit Lions. The problem is, they won again yesterday. I am originally from Detroit and am happy to take Jim's money. Jim is out still another 5 dollars and now Patti's entire Christmas is in jeopardy. This may put me in the awkward position of having to purchase a Christmas present for Patti if I wind up with all of Jim's money. At least he always pays his debts.

Mark accepting yet another
payoff from Jim M.

Interesting Pasts 12-14-11

We are continually surprised by what some of our clients do or did for a living. I worked out yesterday with Carl. He is a retired entertainment attorney. He was involved with some obscure company called Sony Entertainment Corp! He had literally dozens of celebrity clients. He mentioned one that I had never heard of--some singer named Dolly Parton. Probably one of those one hit wonders that you read about. Another current client is older now and selling real estate here in Sarasota. I cannot reveal her real name, but let us just say that it might rhyme with Candy. She is still quite the little blond vixen and I am just now beginning to unearth some of her past exploits. There are nevertheless a lot of unanswered questions that remain....How did she get into the Miami Dolphins locker room in 1975 and who dared her to take a shower while the team practiced on the field? Did she intend to get "surprised" when they came back in? If not, why did she take so long to "rinse off?" And what linebacker discovered that he could not resist "Candy?" Stay tuned.

Cleaning Help 12-8-11

The trash bags fill up fast here at Classic Personal Trainer. Empty water bottles accumulate quickly---wadded up paper towels, empty soda cans, wrappers from protein bars, and cartons from shakes are contributors as well. All manner of crumpled paper products fill any gaps left over. And yes...there is even a large amount of white dog fur in there. Our back office generates mountains of paper and plastic refuse. Joe and I empty most of these cans on a regular basis. Joe shampoos the floor at least once per week, and the whole place gets painstakingly disinfected from top to bottom twice per week. Supplies need to be stocked every day in the cooler and freezer, mirrors need to be squeegeed, and dozens of other maintenance tasks need to be performed monthly.
I have written about Laura, one of our trainers, before. Many of you know her parents, Dave and Cindy, who are back working out in the mornings after a summer and fall hiatus. Cindy seems more determined than ever to get stronger than me in order to shove me around when I get lippy. 
Laura is fantastic when it comes to keeping client cards organized and making sure the front desk isn't covered with empty cans and bottles. When Laura isn't crippled from a recent "challenge" or charity marathon, she works out like a madwoman in between her clients. Her workouts at home consist of following intense aerobics on her flatscreen. But last week, I learned to my utter amazement that her workouts do NOT involve housework! Why? Because our trainer has a Maid Service!! You read that right...Laura was in a rush to leave at the end of one of her shifts last week because she had to interview a MAID!  I realize that many of our clients have household help, and admit to having someone come in once a week when we lived in a larger residence in Michigan. But now I am beginning to wonder exactly how big Laura's condo is! Are there only two floors, or is there an observation deck? Does she have a 20 seat movie theater...a bowling alley...an indoor and outdoor pool with retractable roofs? Is Josh going to be moving into an estate of palatial proportions? I hope to provide answers to these questions and more in an ensuing post.

Mark and two friends 12-6-11

Went to Anna Marie Oyster Bar weekend before last. It is off 41 just north of the airport. I make no secret of the fact that I eat twice as much as the average person. Thus it was with some trepidation that I passed up the combo platters on the menu because of the allure of the Lobster Specials displayed everywhere and touted by the waitress. A steamed lobster with two sides was only $14.99, and the stuffed lobster was only $17.99. I ordered the stuffed lobster, calculating that I could eat a second dinner later that evening at home. As I began to work on my Caesar salad, a lobster appeared on my table. The busy waitress darted off. It looked like a steamed lobster. As I flipped it over to check for stuffing, I flipped the melted butter over as well. There was no stuffing. It took a few minutes to flag down the waitress. I was very polite as I explained the dilemma, an she was very apologetic as she whisked the wrong lobster away. Two minutes later, the manager appeared at my table--with the steamed lobster and a new tub of melted butter. He re-apologized, explained that a stuffed lobster would take 15 minutes to prepare, and suggested that I enjoy the steamed fella on the house while I waited for the one I ordered. I thought it over for a nanosecond and agreed. This kind of stuff NEVER happens to me! I usually have to waylay a buffet to even approach a full stomach. The stuffed lobster was as good as the steamed, and I tipped the wonderful waitress lavishly.


 I decided to be a good sport
for the picture and wear the
stupid bib.



Missing Detroit 11-30-11

Woke up this morning and checked the weather in good old Detroit, from whence we originally came. It was 30 degrees and snowing. The temp is expected to SOAR to 38 degrees, however. As I walked to work in my cutoff jeans and flip flops, I mulled over some of the reasons I miss Detroit. I only live 5 houses from the studio, so I did not have much time to mull. This was fortunate, because I could not think of anything I missed. Upon firing up the computer, I pulled up the latest online edition of the Detroit Free Press. It seems as though I have missed yet another grand-reopening of a Detroit landmark called the Sky Bar. I have never been there, of course, and I do not remember it closing (bars and restaurants open and close in Michigan faster than heart valves) but the pics made the re-opening look like fun...sort of. The management must have paid for some hot model-types to circulate among the crowd. I'm sorry I missed this event. Perhaps I shall catch the next one.

How sick was Laura, anyway? 11-27-11

Our trainer, Laura, was not feeling too well last Tuesday. This is the first time I have known her to be sick. Was she at death's door? No, not even close. But she did not hop on a treadmill the way she usually does upon her arrival. And she put her warm-up jacket on about 30 times as each chill racked her body...and took it off 30 times as hot flashes overwhelmed her. I suggested early menopause as being the cause of these hot flashes, but she assured me that if anyone was going through menopause it was me. Laura accepted 2 Advils the second time I offered, and soldiered on, changing settings on the machines and barking out orders to clients. I would have banned her from the studio had we judged her to be contagious, and I observed her carefully for signs of Ebola virus or Plague. She left an hour early, and was back to her normal self when we worked together Saturday morning.

Defender of the Infamous 11-20-11

What well known divorce attorney works out at our humble little studio? I cannot tell you that. But what I can tell you is that she (oops, just cut the guesses in half) has a partner who is a much sought-after criminal attorney. Guess who sought after this attorney not too long ago...desperately needing representation? I cannot tell you that either. But I can tell you that the criminal attorney's client's daughter is having her share of difficulties with the Los Angeles court system. I can also tell you that she is performing community service at the morgue. I might also mention that she is an actress, and she wasn't too bad during the small part of Georgia Rules that I watched while surfing on cable. It's hard for me to watch any movie with Hanoi Jane in it, thus I could not further evaluate the young actresses abiltiy. (Hanoi Jane is Jane Fonda...look it up, but not on a full stomach.) Or just click here. Still dying to know the first name of the divorce attorney that works out at Classic? Okay, one hint. Mote _______ Laboratory.