Sports Cars, Legroom, and a New Mission  8-26-12
An attorney who works out at Classic has his eye on a slightly used Porsche Panamera. He is six foot five and claims it is the only Porsche that requires him to actually put the seat forward one notch after he gets in. Although it has four doors, I think most readers will agree that it is nevertheless a very sporty looking vehicle. It is 55.8 inches tall, but looks even lower to the ground when it's moving. 

This is the exact color and style of
my Corvette, but I have some gorgeous
Italian  Momo wheels on mine. 

We currently reside very close to the Fitness Studio so I usually walk to work in the morning with my old dog. It takes a while to cover the five-house distance, especially if she has not gone out at night. For this reason most of our clients have not seen my Corvette in the parking lot, which is just as well because I don't have time to give EVERYONE a ride! I have several vehicles but my personal favorite is still this old Corvette, which fits me like a glove after I squeeze through the door. I am only six feet tall and at 55 years old have probably stopped growing, which is a good thing because my Vette is only 46.7 inches tall and more head room is only possible with the top removed...an unpleasant prospect during a Florida thunderstorm.

This car was a LOT slower than it
looks. It had 68 horsepower at it's
disposal---I think my lawn tractor
has more.

One of my first cars was a 1968 Triumph Spitfire. It was a very slow British sports car that combined vibration and impracticality with unreliability and led me to open a very  profitable specialty car repair business. A more appropriate name would have been Spitsblacksmoke or Spitsouttransmissionparts. Although I was already six feet tall when I purchased it, I weighed about 80 pounds less. It was slightly taller than my Corvette...47.6 inches, and would fit beneath the trailer of a tractor/trailer rig! I was quite daring as a teenager but never once drove the vehicle under a moving rig. I remember the seating as being a little tight in my 20's, but the attorney has me wondering if it would now be possible to fit in this vehicle at all any more. I am determined to try. There is a very large car show at Sarasota Square Mall every winter, and I recall seeing several vintage Spitfires there. This year, before dinner--when I am feeling svelte, I am going to the show and pose as an interested Spitfire purchaser. Prior to that, I shall check Ebay for a VERY LARGE shoehorn. All results will be reported here after the show.     

Deceptive Advertising 8-18-12
I realize that I should finish my report on the Sarasota Yacht Club, but warning my clients about this scam has become an immediate priority. Most of the business people in Sarasota are very honest and treat their customers fairly. They have to. Sarasota is a small "big" town and word--good or bad--travels fast. Thus I am sad to be the first to report on a business deception that is going on just two blocks from where my workout studio is located. The offender is a well known business called Splish Splash and they are part of a much larger franchise. I have gathered photographic proof of a grossly misleading come-on displayed on their pylon 
sign---directly in front of their building. I doubt that the parent company knows of this. If they did, they certainly would not condone it. 

As I drove serenely along Tamiami Trail in route to signing up at the new Costco, I spotted an intriguing promise on the marquee. It hinted there were women in the store with swimsuits that were practically FALLING OFF! I have been to Miami South Beach on several occasions and was APPALLED to see women on the beach wearing only the bottom half of their swimsuit. It was thus hard for me to envision any less than that! But the sign clearly stated that swimsuits in that store were up to 70% off! I turned immediately and went inside. Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that what they claimed was not true. Granted, they were having some kind of a sale, but had they  lettered the sign honestly, I would NOT have been enticed so easily.  Please people, do not be fooled like I was. I shall post the phone number soon. If each reader calls the manager and complains soon, our collective voices will be heard and this deception will end!

Just Another Day at the Yacht Club 8-12-12

We were invited for lunch last Wednesday to the Sarasota Yacht Club. Naturally, we accepted. We have all passed the Yacht Club on our way to St. Armand's Circle. It is the one at the west end of the Ringling Bridge---to the left. How many of you can say, however, that you have been to lunch or dinner at this venerable locale? You can? You too? And you saw her with my dog? Okay, stop sending emails. I did not realize that so many of you have been there. Nevertheless, it was my first time. After meeting our host and his lovely wife inside the front door, we toddled off to the dining room. I was somewhat concerned that my denim shorts and best t-shirt would not be suitable attire for such an exquisitely decorated venue, but observed several people at the pool beyond the tall windows wearing much less. I try to avoid white bread or flour at all costs, but the bread basket had tiny little croissant-shaped blueberry muffins that tasted twice as good as they looked and smelled. I indulged without guilt. I ordered grouper fingers as an appetizer, and french onion soup only because the waiter promised it was very cheesy and salty. In keeping with the grouper theme, I ordered the blackened grouper sandwich as well. In the past, I admit to pulling the old "Look out there at the topless woman!" trick in order to distract others at the table. But this afternoon, summoning as much decorum and willpower as possible, I concentrated on my own plates and not once did I borrow from those of my hosts. Everything was excellent. After lunch, we were offered a tour of the entire facility, which we eagerly accepted.  To be continued