Where in the World is Patti? 11-8-11

Many of the morning clients may have noticed that one of our trainers, Patti, was not at the studio on Monday morning. The especially astute client may have observed that she took off before 11 am. on Friday, in spite of our official closing time of noon. Allow me to assure you that she is fine. She had a plane to catch. Patti will be back on Wednesday morning, rarin' to go. Where did she go, you may ask? Vegas. She jetted off with her boyfriend on Friday afternoon to hit Sin City. Who is her boyfriend? I cannot share that with you. Patti has been traveling an awful lot lately with censored. We cover for her as best we can. It's my fault, actually. He has been a client here for quite some time, and is one of the finest individuals I have ever met. I am a walking Match.com and saw the obvious attraction between the two a year and a half ago. I asked both of them out and we ended up at Waterfront restaurant. They had a lot in common, thus it didn't take much to keep the conversation going. I gave Patti some etiquette tips, of course, before setting the time and place....no "pretend gagging" if something tasted bad...no eating off of other diners plates...chew with her mouth closed, etc. I made it clear in advance that although I was buying dinner, it would be nice if she declared she was "not that hungry" and just ordered a cheeseburger. Barring that, if she insisted on ordering something extravagant such as Surf and Turf, I encouraged her to offer me as much of her portion as possible while I ordered something more economical. Patti's behavior was exemplary, however, (not once did she spit a mouthful of food on the floor and yell out "This is Crap!") Ever the gentleman, I resisted the urge to reach across the table and play with her hair. There was subsequently a second date, and then a third, and so on. The rest is history. She and her mystery man will be back from Vegas on Tuesday night. I would also like to stress at this time that Patti does not have a gambling problem, in spite of what you might have heard, so let us put that rumor to rest right here and now.